Week two! I made it! Polite golf clap to me.
This week has been a much steadier week, much less downs and a few more ups. The roller coaster got better. Now, how to talk about the ups without seeming…braggy?
Numero uno, I felt (thought I cringe at saying the word) inspired by a performance of Hairspray. It’s been a few years since I’ve done any sort of acting, but I really did use to enjoy it and only managed to force myself to one unsuccessful audition as part of my university’s theatre group last year. It was nice to actually feel a drive, a motivation, for something. It’s been a while.
Number trois, I rediscovered my hobbies! And I am only slightly embarrassed to admit that this hobby was…knitting. Again, something I was quite keen about a few years ago but haven’t felt any inclination towards in a while. I extended this new found desire to create to other types of crafts and let’s just say, my family are soon to be the lucky owners of shoddily made Christmas gifts.
Essentially, my thoughts have been more preoccupied and a little more positive. The big downside has been another failed attempt at meeting some friends and leaving the house. Actually no, I’ll save my ‘big downside’ for the reoccurring panic and worry about returning to university in a few weeks time. I am dreading it, completely. I cannot think of one really positive reason to look forwards to it. Something my brain likes to bring up at random intervals throughout the day. ‘No friends’. ‘No intelligence’. ‘No leaving the house’. ‘Housemates all hating you’. ‘Everyone hating you’. ‘The world hates you’. ‘Die’.